I had my word all set for 2016, and it was a great one. Fearless. But more than halfway through the year it occurred to me that I hadn’t done anything more than name it, without actually living it out. I hadn’t put it into action at all. I was still turning down opportunities that felt too big for me. Still directing my energy into building others’ visions because mine felt so out of reach, and I felt woefully inadequate. By midyear I’d had enough of the sideline. Id had enough of fear directing my decisions. That’s when “fearless” came alive.
With only a few months left in the year I began to step out into that uncomfortable space of uncertainty. Through either bravery and boldness, or with my eyes shut and swirls of anxiety in my head, I started to conquer fears one by one- mostly little ones. With each new day it became easier to try something new, to push harder through the doubts, to commit time into new things that could in fact, fail! But the year was coming to an end and I’d just started. Do I repeat my word in 2017 because I didn’t buy into it until very late or do I move forward with a new one? Jon Gordon! Jimmy Page! Dan Britton! Help, what do I do?! What are the rules of this thing!
Ironically, there’s a word in my vocabulary that I never let my clients or players use. “Can’t.” I see the greatness in others. I see potential often where others think none exists. It is one of my greatest joys to see someone reach what seems to be unreachable goals. My job in fact, as a coach, teacher, writer, trainer, and my passion, is to help people see and move towards the potential they don’t see in themselves. It’s easier to see it in them than in myself. It’s easier to drive their vision and their success because I believe in them. I know they can do it.
There is safety in the shadows, in the coaching instead of the playing, in the promoting rather than the event. I can do great work when I don’t have to face the fear head on, because the inner voice is quiet when it isn’t about my own journey. But do it myself???
But, I don’t have……..I’m not……..I’ve never…….Not me…….. you do it, I’ll help you!
The truth is, I’m right. I can’t. I’m not. I’ve never. Not me. If I continue to journey alone then I will fall miserably short.
I’ve faced some of my fears this year, but what held me back for so long? How can I be sure it will be different this year. A word is just a word without actions behind it. It was the voice inside that said “CAN’T” tying me up. It was the voice that said “YOU are not enough.” “You’re ok, average, not bad, but not quite IT either.” Some call it being a realist instead of a dreamer. When Im training and coaching others, I call it being a wall builder instead of being a trail blazer. We all have bricks. Some of us stack them and make obstacles, while others lay a path where there wasn’t one before.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13
This morning I came across this verse, one I’ve known by heart for years. But today it shook me. I can. I’m not alone. I don’t need to hide behind fear. I have been promised that I can accomplish my purpose if I stop trying to do it alone, separate from the One who gave me my purpose, talents, and dreams.
And so 2017, my word is CAN. When I align my purpose with God’s plans and lean on His strength, then I CAN… and I will.
What is your word this year? What may hold you back? Are your inner voices filling you with fear and doubt? I made this today at a pottery shop. It’s colors are faded, dull and hard to see because it hasn’t faced the fire of the kiln yet.
Rather fitting because God is going to put me through the fire this year to brighten my colors, bring out my hidden designs, and seal my exposed rough edges. It will be a journey, but I go into it with faith knowing, that I can.